As I’m currently on rest time (again) leading up to my next race, I’ve had time to sit back and think about my journey to get where I am today. Running has never come easy to me, I am not a “natural” runner. However, when I was just doing shorter distances and running for the hell of it, I didn’t experience any injuries or aches or pains. I didn’t have to worry about having a certain type of shoe, or what socks I should be wearing, or did I remember to put glyde on before I left, or whether I started my watch on time. I would just put on my shoes, put my music in and away I went. But I was unhappy in myself, in my body and in my mind. I would struggle to do the few kilometres and wonder how on earth people ran for long distances. It seemed to be this completely unattainable goal so far removed from my abilities that I never seriously entertained it. 2013 was a shocker of a year for me. I have never been as sick in my life as I was that year. I had multiple surgeries including 2 emergency surgeries, I had so many days off work that I lost count, and it felt like something inside me was slowly fading away. Not in a melodramatic OMG I’m dying way, but just the very core of me was disappearing. I found myself wishing away the days, weeks, months. I wasn’t enjoying life or my family and I hated how I felt about myself. I finally made the decision to do something about it and signed up to an awesome local bootcamp, Get Raw Bootcamps. I started with them the first week of 2014. Within a few weeks I was starting to see results and feeling stronger and more confident. With their encouragement, I decided to sign up for a 10km race to push myself out of my comfort zone. The last time I had run 10km was well before Ruby was born, much younger and fitter than I was in 2014. But I did it, and it felt great!!! And just like that, something inside me was ignited. I loved the feeling of achieving something that I had previously felt to be impossible and I was already setting my sights on the next goal. I signed up for another 10km a few months later to try and beat my time, and I did by almost 5 minutes. Around this time, I discovered an awesome online community, Running Mums Australia (RMA). The most supporting and inspiring group of women I have ever met, the stories ranged from people completing their first 1km without stopping right up to people completing 100 mile ultra races. And each post was met with the same level of support and appreciation. After reading so many stories of how people felt when they completed their first half marathon, I decided that would be my next challenge and signed up for the Sunshine Coast half marathon in August 2014. I started running longer distances and posting them on my personal FB page. I had friends comment that I was inspiring them and it confused me as I was definitely no inspiration. I decided to use this run to raise money for breast cancer research as one of my good friends was going through that personal battle herself at the time. I ended up smashing my original fundraising goal and was so proud. And then instantly stressed out as now I felt immense pressure to finish the race and finish well as so many people had donated money towards my run. What if I failed and let them all down? I ended up having a shocker of a race but I did finish. I remember soaking in the spa at our resort afterwards and talking to a guy who had run Comrades in South Africa earlier in the year and thinking you crazy mofo!! The next month I decided to sign up for a local 30km race in December. I trained along the track so I was familiar with it, and thought a local race would have less pressure then some of the bigger more well known races. That month I strained the tendons in my foot and wasn’t allowed to train for 2 weeks (the first of MANY injuries). For the first time I realised how much I loved to train and what it did for me both physically and mentally, so this forced break was tough. I overcame that though and was able to continue with my training. Right before I was due to run the 30km, I got inspired again by the women on RMA and thought well 42 isn’t that much further than 30 and so I signed up for the Gold Coast full marathon in July 2015. I then went on to run the 30km race and had a ball. It was this race that I realised I am not a fast runner and so instead of continuing to push myself to crazy paces, I sat back and enjoyed myself instead running at my comfortable pace. At the beginning of 2015, I was forced to stop my bootcamp as my husband had got a new job further away from home so I had to do both kindy drop off and pick up. No biggie I thought, as I’m running longer distances this year I’ll just do more running instead. BIG MISTAKE. 2015 was a pretty shocking year injury-wise for me. I joked that it was my body’s way of trying to tell me that we were NOT going to be running a full marathon so I better give up now. However, after 34yrs you would think my body would know my mind better than that and realise the mind never gives up, no matter what is thrown at it. In the 6 months leading up to the marathon, I battled 3x bulging discs, a disc protrusion, an injury where my left butt/hip would send numbness down my left leg and cause it to give out under me, pain in my right foot, multiple ear and throat infections, my heart rate monitor cut me and made me bleed, and I had an allergic reaction to the strapping tape on my back. I attended a running clinic and had to make multiple changes to my terrible running style. My training plan became a modified training plan, which became a modification on the modified training plan. Which eventually became just do whatever the hell you need to do in order to cross that line. Throughout all those battles, I somehow thought it was a good idea to also sign up for my first ultra trail marathon only 7 weeks after the marathon (I blame you Liv!). I finished the marathon in 5:29:30 which surpassed my original goal of sub 6:30 and throughout all the pain I loved every second of it. Somewhere around 15km I fell in step with another RMA who was up from Melbourne and also running her first full while injured. We decided to continue running together and motivated each other across that finish line. I am eternally thankful for Mandy and her support that day. I developed a knee injury during the full which sidelined any running before my first ultra. I did zero training for the ultra, except for a 20km and 30km walk. Cause you know, walking around suburbia is kind of the same as running a trail race right? My physio drew up a piece of paper with 2 columns on it in his office: Rhiannon’s recovery plan if she does do Coastal High, and Rhiannon’s recovery plan if she doesn’t do Coastal High, and then looked at me. I was like “so, column A?” and he rolled his eyes and said “I thought so….” (love you Dave!) To this day, that ultra trail marathon is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life, including child birth. Every single bone and fibre in my body hurt, I developed new injuries, I broke down completely and wanted to give up. Yet my trusty mind kicked my body into gear and dragged my sorry arse across that finish line just one foot in front of the other. I was last on track and finished with only 12 minutes to spare, but I finished. I must have mentally blocked a lot of that day, as I discovered when I headed out there months later for a social run and had no idea where we were when someone pointed out this was part of the Coastal High track. Huh? I decided to take a few months off running in order to heal all of the old and new injuries. Well that was the plan anyway. But the first round of Gold Coast trail series was in November so I had to get permission from my physio to enter lol We decided on a game plan for 2016 that would see me actually listen to him and follow his advice (there’s a first for everything right?). Around this time, I started up this blog, and putting myself out there on the public stage was super scary and nerve wracking! The plan was to run GC full and Coastal High again, to improve both times and run both uninjured. Along the way I would complete smaller races, with increasing distances, and use them as training runs. Considering I had never owned a proper pair of trail shoes, I figured now was the time to find a pair. I tried a particular brand that a number of friends raved about, but unfortunately they were definitely not for me. I tried to persevere through them as I had read it took a good 4-6 weeks to transition into zero drop. But the pain they were causing in my calves led to me changing my running style uphills which then put too much strain on my quads and pulled my right knee out during a race in March, and I developed an ITB strain. I was so incredibly frustrated. This was NOT how this year was supposed to have gone. I had done everything right, I had listened to my physio and done what I was told, I had purchased proper shoes, why was I still getting injured?? I took another few weeks off to recover and tried again. By this point I couldn’t even run 2km before the knee pain would start and I rang my physio in tears. We met up and he filmed me running around for a bit and then showed me the video. Just about everything we had changed last year in the running clinic was back to the old ways. “OMG that’s terrible! what the f*** happened?” I cried? “Exactly” he said “what the f*** happened?”. Turns out in between all those modifications last year, I somehow took the do whatever the hell you need to do literally, and all technique went out the window. So I was back to square one with more changes to my technique to work on. It was back to being exhausting and frustrating and definitely not enjoyable. But something inside me clicked and I realised that I really needed to embrace this, as running is my happy place and no running = very unhappy Rhiannon. So I dutifully downloaded a cadence app and started running 1km at a time, focusing on cadence, posture, feet and knee position etc. The distances started to increase again slowly and the happiness came back. However, I made the smart decision to pull out of my next 2 smaller races and not race the GC full. By this point I had made the decision that I wanted to run a 100km trail race in October as well as complete Coastal High properly, and putting too much pressure on myself to complete the other races just wasn’t necessary. It was a hard decision to finally come to, but the relief I felt after I made the decision told me it was the right one. My physio devised an official training plan, complete with cross training and strength training, and I met with a nutritionist to develop a meal plan that would match the increasing intensity of my training plan. Everything was coming together and I was excited for what the next few months would bring. But of course, my latest journey would not be void of drama and it wasn’t over yet. 2 weeks ago I ran in the inaugural Yarrabilba Trail Fest. Leading up to the race I wasn’t sure whether to approach it as just another easy training run or try to harness a bit of the race day energy and see how I would go pushing a bit harder at the beginning. I chose the latter and I chose wrong. The first 8km of the race was basically sand and mud, and about 7.5km I felt the familiar pains in my right knee again. To say I was devo would be an understatement. Less than a month from Coastal High and I was back to being unable to run for more than an hour without pain. I was set to do a 6hr training run the following weekend and it seemed like all my hard work was about to be undone. I had some dry needling done to try and release the tension in my leg which helped. But my trusty physio has never let me down yet and so we decided that the 6hrs would just be about time on legs. It didn’t matter if I didn’t run a step, it would just be about being out on the track for a long period of time, practising my nutrition. I managed to do 34km in just over 6hrs with little bits of jogging and a lot of walking, and no knee pain. I was to follow it up 2 days later with a 3hr training run, but the knee started to flare up again a bit more. Back to the physio I went and got some more dry needling in my leg. Given that we’re now less than 3wks from Coastal, I have started taper early and am now just walking to keep my legs moving. I will touch base with Dave just before to see what else I may need to do in order to keep my knee happy. We also discussed my goals for the day and I decided that as Blackall is my main goal for the year, Coastal High will now be a training run for Blackall. I had originally set 4 goals for Coastal: A) start uninjured (debatable!), B) finish, C) beat last year’s time of 10:18 and don’t come last, and D) finish sub 9hrs. As Blackall is my bigger picture goal, I have now made the tough decision to let go of Goal D. I don’t need that pressure hanging over me on the day, as my game plan is now to walk all downhills and lightly jog or hard hike flats and uphills. All the while focussing on the bigger picture of being able to finish the day with hopefully no knee pain so I don’t need to take anymore time off to recover. As I don’t really have the time to take off, given that Coastal is now in 16 sleeps and Blackall is in 65 sleeps! As I look back over my journey thus far, it has been quite eventful and emotionally charged. I still often look at other “natural” runners and which that things could be so easy and natural for me, with less drama (and pain!) involved. But then again, in spite of everything that life has thrown at me, I have still managed to complete every single thing I set my mind to. It may not have been pretty and it may not have ended how I imagined it would, but I did it and I am so proud of myself. Here’s to the next 65 days and whatever may come with them. Though already I am feeling much more confident and relaxed than this time last year, as well as physically stronger and better prepared. But if you see me going out too hard out on the track of Coastal, or running down a hill, feel free to slap me up the side of the head and pull me back into line!!!
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It’s been just over 19 weeks since I injured my knee in the Up the Buff trail race. Since then, I’ve spent a lot of time and energy (and money!) to heal my injury and get back to a place where I am running confidently pain free. It can be a disheartening process having to let go of your short-term goals and plans in order to keep focused on the bigger picture. I had plans to run the full marathon last month on the Gold Coast, as well as a number of smaller races in order to build up my fitness and mental strength for Coastal High next month. As each week went on and another race or short-term goal slipped by, it felt like a piece of my mental health went with it. If you’ve been following my blog for awhile then you would have read about that journey and the darkness I felt down there. It seems, for me, that whenever I don’t have running in my life to fall back on for my stress relief then everything else goes to shit. Perhaps its just my perception of the situation at the time that is clouded by my mood. You would have read about the current battles with my Mum as she spirals deeper into the horrible world of early onset dementia.
But slowly the light came back into my life. I know that sounds dramatic and I’m sure there are people out there that will say there is more to life than running and for them I’m sure that are true. But running isn’t just the physical act for me. It is my stress relief, my “me” time, my chance to disconnect from the 50 million hats I wear in my every day life, the ability to reconnect with nature and just be one with myself, and the moments I get to share this time with my crew give me so much more. Not to mention the physical endorphins released when exercising. I placed all of my faith and trust into my amazing physio and promised him that I would listen to any and all instructions and follow them no matter how much that went against my pig headed stubbornness. We did technique coaching and detailed numerous tweaks to my apparently terrible form. I spent days running a mere 1km up and down my street just aching to get out there but believing that this would lead to better things. We devised a training plan that incorporated running, strength training stretching, pilates, walking and rest (WTF is this rest you speak of?!?). I then found an awesome PT who was willing to work in conjunction with my physio to help me target certain muscles etc when training with him. He then was able to refer me to a nutritionist who developed a personalised nutrition plan that would enable me to fuel correctly for my training and enable me to run harder and longer as my training increased. Slowly, I felt myself getting stronger and fitter, and finally my distances started increasing. So I did what any sane person does who is only 4mths post injury – and registered for my first 100km trail ultra, Blackall 100 in Ultra. Cause you know, nothing like a bit of healthy pressure on yourself right?? As it gets closer to Coastal High, I have started to reach the longer runs in my training plan. Saturday I did 2.5hrs and Monday I did just over 3hrs, covering 36km in total. Looking back to March, I honestly didn’t think I would be at this stage now. Both runs felt amazing and I finished both with fuel in the tank and wanting to go further. Which was the plan. I love when things go as they should. But as awesome as I am feeling right now, I can’t help but feel frustrated when I compare myself to others. Yeah yeah I know, we’re all on our own journey, follow your own path, blah blah blah. But if you lived with someone like my husband, you would be frustrated too. As you may remember, my husband; who had never run a single trail before February; decided to also register for Coastal High. The same man who did 1x 25km road run before his first full marathon last year and finished it in 4:06. Since March, I have spent a lot of time and money to get to where I am now. I am determined, dedicated, committed and do everything “right”. I meticulously measure out my chicken and sweet potato and meal prep for the week. I weigh in every Sunday morning. I follow my training plan to the last letter. I wake up between 3-3.30am most mornings in order to get all my training done before I start the rest of my day. I track my progress and check in with my physio and trainer. And yet, still I seem to come across roadblocks and hiccups on my journeys no matter what the destination is. Yet my husband’s approach to things is generally more to just “wing it” and everything will be fine. He has written his own “training program” and I use the term loosely as there doesn’t seem to be much consistency to it. He makes sure that he fits in his training around his other great love - sleep. Sleep comes before everything and yet he will no doubt rock up on the day and smash it. This morning he was supposed to get up for an early run before work. Ruby came into our room last night and yay for me she actually went to his side of the bed and asked him to come in and snuggle her for a bit. All up for about 20 minutes, then a bit of time for him to get back to sleep. However, when his alarm went off, he rolled over and turned it back off. I asked if he was going for his run, “no, I’m too tired from Ruby last night”. Seriously??? Most times she comes in and asks me to get up, often MULTIPLE times a night. Yet I still get up and train when my alarm goes off at stupid o’clock. Even Ruby called him lazy this morning lol I have followed my nutrition plan and training plan almost perfectly (a little hard to do when I’ve been away for work so much, but I have even given up wine for the training as well!!!) and I do a weigh in “ooh look, I’ve lost 600g”. My husband says “oh I’ve cut down on my beer and went for a run a few times, ooh look I’ve lost a couple of kg”. Gah! Maybe it wouldn’t bother me quite so much if he weren’t so smug and cocky about it? (unfortunately history shows he has the goods against me to back up that cockiness). The competitive streak is strong in that one and so everything can turn into a competition. He’s lucky I love him so much, cause damn he drives me insane sometimes! However, I did see the brief flash of nerves in his eyes when I compared our 2 long runs recently and time wise I wasn’t too far behind him, a lot closer than we both would have expected. So run with one eye open dear husband, I’m coming for you! Only 31 sleeps till go time!!!! |
AuthorHi, I'm Rhiannon and welcome to my blog. I'm not an elite athlete and I may never win any races, but I'm a "real" runner, juggling work, family and life to achieve my running goals. Archives
October 2020
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REAL GIRL RUNNER | My Blog |