I posted recently about embracing my inner snail when it comes to the pace and speed of my running, I’m slow and proud! I definitely seem much happier and enjoy my runs more, now that I have backed off from the obsessiveness of striving for faster pace. The only frustrating thing with being a slower runner is the time it takes me to get training runs completed! Stupid o’clock wake ups are still only getting me 10km runs during the week. I don’t know how much earlier I can get up though before it becomes counterproductive… But, I can lose myself in the moment with running, and just zone out for some “me” time and much needed stress relief, at least when I can manage to switch off all the chatter in my head! Which after smashing my bloody knee hard on a rock on Good Friday up at Binna Burra, sidelining me for (hopefully!) a few days, I am desperately needing and missing the stress relief - just ask my family!!!
However, my real love is trails. Out on the trails, the need for pace is diminished, and even the most elite will sometimes walk up steep hills – whereas unless you’re practising the Galloway method of run/walk training, I’ve found that walking is almost frowned upon by roadrunners. On the trails, it’s all about the experiences, the views, the feeling of being one with nature, hanging with your crew, discovering new and unchartered territory. There’s something decidedly badass about scrambling up the side of a mountain, snapping some amazing pics from the edge and then flying back down the other side, then checking your Strava to see your total elevation! 1000m elevation, boom baby! I completed the inaugural Coastal High 50 (CH50) last year, a gruelling but amazing 50km ultra-trail marathon, running through the stunning Gold Coast Hinterland. It was a disaster as far as races go, but one that I have registered for again. This year, it’s personal – I have a race experience to improve, and the position of last place to hand to pass to someone else. My dear husband decided late last year that he would also register for CH50, before he had yet even run a single trail. As I have mentioned before, he is one of those bloody annoying people that does not need to train much if at all, and will complete something and probably better than a lot of other people. He did 1x 25km long run for the Sunshine Coast marathon last year and did it in 4.06 – we had a $50 bet going that he would get sub4 just because I know how competitive he is, so I revelled in the fact that I was $50 richer as a result ha ha sucker!! Now him registering for CH50 has pissed me off for a few reasons. Trail running is my thing, and triathlons are his thing. Don’t come into my space buddy, and I will stay out of yours! But what annoys me more so, was this would now become a competition – his competitive streak is maddening and he can’t help himself. Right away there was talk about beating me. That’s a given I would say, considering last year I did it in 10.18 and was last on track. Jokingly, I said to him “well I’ll make sure that I wave when I pass you”. He looked at me, laughed, and said “that will never happen, I’ll run on a broken leg if I have to just so you don’t beat me”. Love you too honey! So, unofficially and you didn’t hear this from me, but if you see a shortish man out on track this year at CH50, feel free to trip him up or shove him off the mountain for me… On a side note - Is it bad of me that I felt a small (large) sense of satisfaction when he fell over AND got lost on his maiden trail run through Nerang forest?? Hmmmm perhaps the competitive streak isn’t just in him after all lol Now that our training has officially started, and we’re getting more and more trail runs in, it’s very apparent that we run for different reasons. As I said above, for me trails is all about the experience. Our crew often take photos while we’re out and about on the trails, of each other, of the surroundings, to capture these moments. My husband doesn’t understand why we do this, he sees it as time wasting. He is a clock watcher, perhaps not as obsessively like I used to be, but he is all about the pace and speed. Maybe that’s a natural thing the faster you are, I’m not sure. So, it got me thinking – why do other people run? Do you run for stress relief, or to beat the clock? Do you use running as simply a method of getting from A to B, or is it the only stable thing in your crazy runaway life? I would love to hear from you, RGR x
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For years, I tried to run faster, to increase my pace. It probably started about 6 or 7 years ago, when our friends placed a bet that I would beat my husband in the 10km race at the Gold Coast marathon. Now I’ll be honest, I had never seen him run on the road before (he is a football player and runs a lot on the pitch) and I honestly believed that I would have no troubles beating him. After all, I was running more than he was (him zero, me a bit more than zero) and the confidence of our friends spurred me along. What I didn’t account for is my husband’s competitive streak and natural freak ability to do things with zero training. We ran together for about 8km and I was starting to get tired. He asked would I mind if he went on ahead and I said that would be fine. He took off and beat me by over 6 minutes. Turns out he had been running with me at MY pace instead of his own comfortable pace. I ate a very large piece of humble pie that day. Then along came the time to try and fall pregnant and all the issues that came with that. Once my daughter Ruby was finally conceived and born, I took more time off and a few years went by. I would resolve to get back into running, go for a few small runs in a week and then give up. Quite simply, life (and excuses!) got in the way. 2013 was one of the worst years for me, physically and mentally. I was so sick with multiple different issues – I had 4 surgeries in 5 months including 2 emergency surgeries; had almost 90 days off work over the year, and numerous other health setbacks. Towards the end of 2013, I realised I needed to make some major changes in my life, including my diet and fitness. I was already gluten intolerant for years and then had to remove a number of things from my diet due to my endometriosis, so I made the decision to transition to a Paleo lifestyle. I also joined an amazing boot camp, Get Raw Bootcamps, and got my fitness and passion for exercise back. I started back running again, and entered my first 10km race in about 5yrs. I was so proud of myself for finishing, but suddenly it didn’t seem fast enough. I was following running blogs and online pages and these people were so fast it was humiliating. I started working hard on my pace, and got a real sense of achievement when the numbers dropped. But with that, came a whole new level of anxiety when the numbers didn’t drop or when they started to get away from me. If I didn’t achieve a PB each week at Parkrun, I would start beating myself up about what went wrong that day and what I should do different the next week. The quest for a PB started to preoccupy me. I signed up for my first half marathon in August 2014 at the Sunshine Coast and was aiming for the highly desired sub2 half. My pace was up there, I was getting faster and faster and achieving that over longer distances. I did a mock half marathon as a training run two weeks beforehand and did it in 2.03, so I was confident with the atmosphere on the day, I should have no problem getting under 2hrs for the race. Turns out the running gods were definitely not on my side that day. In only two weeks, the temperature had increased significantly. There was a very large hill at the beginning of the race and I hadn’t trained any hills. My period decided to make its appearance 4 days early and hit me at 4am with such a force that for a second I thought I was dying. Dramatic maybe, but let me see how you would feel to be woken by such pain and intensity at 4am in the morning!!! The race started and instantly I started clock watching. As each kilometre went past, my pace was slowing (I also went out way too hard, rookie error!) and my sub2 goal was slipping further away. I spent the majority of the race mentally calculating the time left to still get under sub2 and what I would have to adjust my pace to. And then getting angry at myself as I would have to readjust it next kilometre as I got slower. About 14km, I got a searing pain in my left calf and had to run 7km partially limping. I ended up with 2.09 and I was absolutely devastated. It took me weeks, months even, to accept the race for what it was and to stop beating myself up about it. I then signed up for the 30km Kurrawa to Duranbah race in December 2014. As the race approached, I was nervous that I would have a similar race and was unsure of how to approach it. I realised I had not been enjoying my runs for months, as all I was doing was constantly checking my pace and comparing, and running at a pace that was not natural to my body. I made the decision to run slower in this race and start at the back of the pack to minimise the urge to go out too hard. I started the race with a 7km average pace and finished 30km in 3.35 – and to date that has been my most enjoyable race ever! I had so much fun that day, high fiving people as I went along, and having friends popping up along the way for support. My husband and Ruby met me with some water towards the last 6km and even though I was hurting, I was still having fun and enjoying the experience. It was at that moment that I realised, I’m not a fast runner AND THAT’S OK. Hats off to the people who can run a sub 4min kilometre and maintain that over long distances, I think I would vomit or my body would shut down if I attempted that. I much prefer to run at a pace that is comfortable for my body, and to zone out and just enjoy the run. Running has come back to being “me” time, time for me to be alone with my thoughts (there are a lot!) without hearing “mum! Mummy! Rhiannon!” for a few hours. As I am usually training the road by myself, I often pop some music on and just get lost in the world of beats for a while. So if you’re a naturally fast runner, well done. If you strive to get faster, and that works for you, fantastic. But if you’re a slower runner, that’s perfectly fine too! When I was training for my first full marathon last year, I had 2 sayings that became mantras to me and I want to share them with you:
The fact that you are out there, you are moving, you are running, you are a champion. It doesn’t matter if you’re the slowest in your running group, you’re stronger then you were yesterday, last week, and last month. I have thousands of motivational quotes that I could share with you all now (if you’re looking for them, get on to Pinterest, or better yet follow me on Instagram @realgirlrunner – shameless plug!), but in the end, identify with what you get out of running personally and embrace it. It might be for fitness, it might be for stress relief, or it may be the goal of running a 100km ultra in 6 months’ time. So fast, slow, short distances, long distances. Let’s lift up our fellow runners and celebrate them for the amazing people that they are. You’re out there, you’re doing it, and as they say, you’re lapping everyone on the couch! #realgirlrunner #rgr #parkrun #fastorslow #goyourownpace I love my husband, I really do. But sometimes (often) I want to throw something at him, to take out my frustration on the unfairness and inequality of our lives. He seems to lead such a charmed life, without hardly any cares in the world. A lot of that easy-ride life comes from being born a man.
Now before you think this is a man-bashing post, it’s not. It’s a post lamenting the fact that I was born a woman and therefore have to deal with the 50 million things that come with being a woman while I watch my lucky-to-be-born-a-man husband cruise through relatively unscathed. As women, we have to deal with boobs, vaginas, internal women organs, hormones, periods, childbirth, breastfeeding, regular painful hair removal, having a mind that is like an internet browser with 100 tabs open at any one time, putting ourselves after everyone else, and I’m sure the list goes on. Men on the other hand, deal with penises, balls, prostates and facial hair – though facial hair can also be said for some ladies too so maybe rule that out. Surely that list doesn’t seem fair? Some of the issues that running women face on a regular, if not daily, basis:
On the flip side, men have on average:
Now please guys, correct me if I have missed anything or have dumbed down the importance of any of the above points. It wasn’t intentional, and I only have my husband as a basis for comparison as to what each of us have to deal with. I haven’t included chafe in general or blisters as everyone can get those. However I have found that Body Glide and Injinji socks will fix those issues in no time. So I watch my husband get ready for a run, usually much later than I have to get up as he runs faster than me (just another reason to get cranky) and I think to myself screw you, you lucky bastard. Go on, put on your shirt, shorts, shoes and socks and off you go. No no, don’t worry, I’ll lie here dying in pain and missing my run today because Mother Nature has decided she wants to punish me for past discretions and I’m minutes away from ripping out my own uterus with my bare hands. Or he’ll be blissfully asleep while I am trying to allow my bowels to wake up and take care of business, wrestle and wrangle myself into all my different layers, then Gliding up and then strapping up all before I can even get out of the door by 4am. It takes a lot of pre-planning and effort for me to be able to go for a run, I will never be able to just “chuck on my gear and go” like my husband. So I really do love my husband, honestly lol but wouldn’t it be fabulous if, for just one day, we could swap bodies and live as the opposite sex. I think he would then have a whole new world of appreciation for just how bloody shit it can be sometimes to be a woman/mum runner! However, lets also marvel at the fact that women have to go through all of the above (and more!), still somehow manage to just get on with shit and do it, whilst juggling 50 million different things, AND also find time to exercise or run and just be fabulous. I guess Beyonce was right, girls really do run this motha! #realgirlrunner #rgr #trailrunning #bodyglide #injinji #upthebuff I am one of those people that is always either worrying about what is going to happen, what will happen, what may not happen; pre-empting the different possibilities of what might happen, running through imaginary scenarios in my head about if I do a) will b) or c) happen, and if I change a) to d) will b) or c) still happen or will e) happen instead. And if I’m not worrying about the future, then I am overanalysing the past, why did that happen, could I have done something different to stop that from happening, will that happen again, running through imaginary scenarios in my head about if I did a) different, would b) or c) have happened etc. etc. As you can see, it’s exhausting being in my head sometimes. My wonderful psychologist keeps reminding me to be more present in the moment and focus less on the past or future. Easier said than done! When bad stuff happens, especially at a younger or impressionable age, I think it’s inevitable to question the why’s – why me, why did this happen, why couldn’t I stop it? However, if these are the questions you learn to ask while your emotional intelligence is developing, then they can easily become ingrained in you and transfer to the rest of your life. Well, that was the way it was for me anyway. Note: I am not a trained psychologist, however I have studied psych and have one that I have seen my fair share of psychologists over the last 20+ years so I like to think I understand some of the concepts lol When my daughter Ruby was born until past 6 months, she suffered from severe silent reflux. In fact, it was so bad and she was in so much pain, she locked up all the muscles down her spine and it was like holding a plank of wood. Now, having never been around children before, barely held them etc., I didn’t realise anything was wrong. Kids cry people tell me, 17 hours straight a day seemed a bit extreme but ok kids cry. My husband was working 2 hours away from home at the time, and would only come home every second night to minimise the travel. When he got home she would already be asleep and most of the time he would leave before she woke, so he only got to see her on weekends. Tough for him, and exhausting for me. I spent many many moments wishing away the minutes, the hours, the days, the weeks. If she has a good nap today, maybe she won’t cry as much when she wakes. I can’t wait for the weekend when Nathan gets home so I can have a break. I can’t wait for when she can start crawling so maybe she won’t cry as much. What happens if she cries for the next 12 months? It wasn’t until we saw a baby osteopath and a naturopath combined that they were able to treat her pain and make her feel better. That experience nearly broke me, and if it wasn’t for some amazing mums that I met in my playgroup then I believe I probably would have committed myself for mental help. I still remember the moment we were sitting in a circle on the floor, I was trying to feed my child after unsuccessfully trying to get her to nap for 40 minutes during playgroup (while all the other babies slept or played happily and mine screamed). I was in the middle of feeding, boob out, and I just started sobbing. Everyone stopped what they were doing and a number of them just ran to me and hugged me. Made me cry even more as it felt like the flood gates were open and a weight was lifted. From then on, some of them have become some of my closest friends. Even though we don’t get to see each other as much (they went on to have other children, I have nightmares at the thought!), I will be forever in debt to them for their kindness and love. How does this translate to running? Well I do the same out there too. Last year, I battled numerous injuries in my journey to complete my first marathon and my first ultra-trail marathon. I had to modify training plans, and then modify those modifications. I would start out on a run: 1km feeling OK, 2-4km still feeling good, start imagining what it will be like to finally get a long run in pain free, 5-8km hmmm is that the beginning of the niggle again or am I just thinking it’s there? What happens if it happens again? Remember last time it happened I had to walk back, but I’m further from my car now. Why did I decide to take this route? Maybe if I had taken the other route this wouldn’t be happening again. 9km yep it’s definitely starting again. Maybe if I change my posture that will help. 10km posture change didn’t help. Maybe I should take another gel and see if that helps. 11km gel didn’t help and now the pain is getting worse. Dammit I was supposed to do 14km today, what happens if I can’t make it back. I’m getting further behind on my training. 12km wow it’s so painful now, was it this painful last time? What happens if I keep running on it but do a run/walk technique instead? 13km nope that didn’t work, shit its killing me now. Will I do more damage if I just push through to 14km I’m almost there right? 14km I so shouldn’t have done that, what makes me think I am cut out to be a runner, seriously all these other people can run fine, why can’t I? What’s wrong with me? This went on from about February till the day of my ultra in September. The mental commentary that I had with myself on that day was scary, funny and sad all rolled into one. But as I have said, I am nothing if not stubborn and determined and I managed to complete it. Not advisable given my injuries however, do NOT attempt to replicate what I did out there! Fast forward 8 weeks and I had permission from my fabulous physio Dave Coombs to start out small runs again, both road and trails. Considering I had barely done any trail running before Coastal High, I was interested to get back into it. I had linked in with some local ladies via Facebook, including Liv who convinced me to do Coastal High in the first place, and we organised a run one Saturday afternoon. All day, my anxiety levels were creeping up and up. What if I’m too slow for them? What if I need to go to the toilet? (I have toilet issues, but that’s for another blog!) What if I get lost? What if they don’t turn up where we have arranged to meet? What if I have the meeting place/time wrong? What if my injuries start again and then I have to make them stop and they get pissed off at me? I was so close to cancelling on them numerous times that day. I was messaging Liv and I think by the end she was no doubt thinking what the hell have I got myself into running with this chick! I somehow managed to take a deep breath, pack my stuff, and drive to the meeting place. All the while thinking I was going to vomit or crash from the nerves. That run turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done. That day, I started to form friendships that transcend just running and have led me to some of the best women I have ever had the privilege of knowing and being friends with. I have a crew of women now that I would happily give my life for and know they would do the same. The running adventures we’ve experienced together have been wonderful, they have motivated me and supported me and loved me, in spite of my swearing habit and inability to stop saying sorry J They surprised me on my birthday when I usually don’t do anything and took me to (what felt!) the top of the world to celebrate. Life in general is always better when you have a crew. People who have your back. Who share your interests. You get your goals and support you to achieve them. Who can respond with just one emoji and you know they get you. If you don’t have a crew, reach out and find one. It may be the hardest thing to try and do especially for those who suffer from anxiety. But as one anxious person to another, you can do it and one day it will be worth it. To my beautiful crew, thank you. Thank you for everything and even more that words cannot describe. Here’s to many more adventures and experiences together, and I will always have your back. #4220+6 Some of my crew and I will be running Up the Buff this Sunday, and celebrating the Fabulous 40th birthday for Liv. The race itself is going to hurt (did somebody say Strawberry Hill?), but the pain will fade and the memories will last forever. So if you see us out there, make sure you say hi! Juggling it all in life seems to be much more of a mum’s job then a dad’s. I don’t mean that in a sexist way, as I know plenty of dads out there that do a bang up job, but the general consensus is that Mum is the go to person and has everything sorted. Every day I read about a mum having to get up to their sick child throughout the night, or when they’re teething, or any other reason that kids decide to wake up and only mum is the solution. In particular, hats off and all the kudos to the single mums out there that manage it all on their own and still find time to train xoxo
My husband and I are both training for Coastal High 50 this year, and this means that we need to schedule our respective training days. Traditionally, I have always been the morning person and he has always been an after work person and so things worked well. He now has a new job that means he doesn’t get home till later, so he has now taken “my” Wednesday mornings and one day on the weekend. He is one of those bloody annoying people that doesn’t need to train much at all and will rock up and nearly get a sub4 marathon *cough* Sunshine Coast Marathon 2015 *cough*, where as I need all the training I can get. Though there was this one time, when I ran a 50km trail race and had only done 2 long WALKS as training lol PS not recommended! Do the training! Now as I am not a fast runner, in order to fit in longer runs in the morning I am waking up earlier and earlier. My new “stupid o’clock” alarm for weekdays is 3.40am and 3.00am on Saturday mornings to run before volunteering at Parkrun. My usual week day goes something like:
So far, not quite equal right? By my rough count, I’m usually operating on about 1.5hrs less sleep per night, over 10hrs less per week or over 500hrs less per year! Then we have the “extra” activities. Like when Ruby wakes up in the middle of the night and asks me to come and watch her pee. Yes, you read that right, she wants an audience at 12.30am to go to the toilet. Then comes the “snuggle with me please mummy”. Gah its midnight, I’m exhausted, I’m getting up in a few hours but sure, why not. She falls back asleep, I crawl back to bed, husband is still snoring after not waking (or has fallen back asleep after waking and NOT offering to get up!), I am then wide awake and for some reason hungry. Go downstairs and grab something quick to eat, go back to bed, but now I need the toilet. Look at the clock and its 2am, what’s the point in going back to sleep now??? The struggle is real. But exercise is my stress relief, my sanity, my reason for being able to do all that I do in life and I get very antsy if I miss it. Which brings me to this morning. Wednesday morning is husband’s run morning. Last night I ask if he’s got everything ready to go – no not yet. Has he set his alarm – I will. This morning, I hear the alarm go off, and he snoozes it. I ask him what the time is, its 5am. So no run. Later that morning he says “oh I heard the rain so I didn’t want to get sick 2 weeks before holidays”. Meanwhile I want to throw something large and heavy at him. I knew he wouldn’t have got up, but I would have got up and enjoyed that run for sure! Especially as tonight he will be home too late for me to go to Pilates so I get nothing today. I am angry, cranky, and antsy as it’s been 2 days since my last run; all of the above. And this was after another midnight wake up for the nightly toilet show, I STILL would’ve got up. I think to myself you lucky jerk, you don’t know how good you have it. But then I look at my phone and realise I am actually due for my period in a few days and think maybe I should dial down the crazy a bit… Days like this I really miss coffee! Instead I’ll just count down the minutes until my next run… totally normal right? So today I did it! I had been thinking about starting a blog for awhile but wasn't sure that anyone would want to read about my story. After all, I'm not a fast runner, I don't win races, I've had more injuries then I can count - who would want to read about that??
But what I lack in speed, I make up for in determination and stubbornness. Last year, in spite of my injuries I managed to complete my first marathon and first ultra trail marathon. I achieved these through blood, sweat and tears (literally!). In addition to juggling work, a business, my family including my amazing but exhausting 5yr old mini me daughter Ruby, my mum who has early onset dementia, and life in general. I've had friends say that I have inspired them along my journey and continue to do so. So I thought, maybe I could inspire others? But then the doubts started, what if no one reads it? What if people are mean to me? I'm putting myself out for the public to judge me, will they be kind? Some of my biggest inspirations include people who give it their all, no matter how hard. Who tell it like it is, no matter how raw. Who continue to try, long after others may have given up. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone is scary but necessary. So welcome to my page - if you're looking for warts n all, real, raw, honest inspiration to achieve your goals - whether they are to finish C25k, or working up to your first marathon, I hope you get something out of it here xox You can also check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/realgirlrunner#realgirlrunner #rgr #realrunninginspiration |
AuthorHi, I'm Rhiannon and welcome to my blog. I'm not an elite athlete and I may never win any races, but I'm a "real" runner, juggling work, family and life to achieve my running goals. Archives
October 2020
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REAL GIRL RUNNER | My Blog |